Cheating and It Feels So Good

It's official.

I am cheating on Dr. B.

This morning I had an appointment at a different fertility specialist's office…

 and…

 I loved it!

Since it was my first visit with Nurse Practitioner J (Dr. S didn't have an appointment until September so I met with the nurse practitioner today), I had to answer a lot of questions and tell her all about my infertility history. After all of the questions were answered and all of the history had been shared, she asked me if I was feeling pretty frustrated.  I tried to form the words to say yes. But instead my lips started to quiver, and my eyes filled with tears. And, before I knew it, I was crying right in front of her.

On my first visit.

I immediately and repeatedly apologized.

She handed me a box of tissues and told me not to apologize. That everyone struggling with infertility should have at least one meltdown.  If not, they just don’t want it bad enough.   I guess I am good because I don’t know if I could count my meltdowns at this point.

With flutters of hope in my heart, that finally, someone understands, I proceeded to tell her about my appointment with Dr. B.  The one when she issued my infertility prison sentence of a year and half.   I told NPJ that the first thing I did after leaving Dr. B’s office that day was call to get an appointment with her.  

NPJ assured me that it would NOT take a year and a half to get me pregnant.

Praise God! Praise God for encouragement. Praise God for positive energy.

Here is NPJ’s suggested plan of action. Do three rounds of IUIs while taking femara.  If within 3 rounds, I am not pregnant, then have a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis.

I like her plan of action! Consider this my new plan of action!

After sharing her proposed plan of action, she asked if I’ve had any ovulation monitoring ultrasounds done. I wanted to say, “Why, yes.  I am becoming quite the stirrup slut.”  Instead, I laughed and said that I’ve already had two this week.

NPJ responded, “Well, let’s do one just for kicks.”

I am so glad we did because yesterday it looked like this might not be a good month for IUIs because my follicle was only measuring at 16 mm.  But, when NPJ moved over to my right ovary she exclaimed, “Hello big follicle!  Have you been cramping because you are about to drop an egg?!”

So, with my follicle at 20.1 mm and my lining at 9mm, I will administer the trigger shot tonight and do the IUIs already scheduled for Friday and Saturday morning with Dr. B. It looks like the timing is perfect.  

Then it is so long to Dr. B.  I wish I could say it has been fun...but...well, that would be a lie.  

And, cheating and lying in one day… that is just too much.