WE WERE ON A BREAK!

I know, Ross.  I know.

Here's the thing I'm figuring out...you can never really be "on a break" when it comes to infertility.

Yes, you can take a break from the doctor's appointments and the temperature taking, but, the yearning and the hope that this will be the month doesn't go away just because you are calling this month "a break".  

Sad to say.

I realized this fact yesterday when I caught myself counting out my cycle days.  I was actually trying to figure out when I could potentially be ovulating.  

Why would I do this to myself whilst on a break?  Call me a glutton for punishment. 

I know there is such a slim chance we'll get pregnant naturally, but I still find myself secretly wishing we will be surprised with a late period this month.  I mean heck, it happened before.  It could happen again.  Right?  

After all, every one says that when you stop thinking about it and stop "trying" is when you get pregnant.

So, I will continue to live in denial that I am "on a break" and continue to tell myself  we are not "trying".  Because, frankly, denial is a hell of a drug and I'm Rick James, Bitch!

JK.  I couldn't resist.